Zombie Outbreak: Holy Sh*t! Read online

  “Help me, please,” the man pleaded.

  He had a big gash on his arm where he had been bitten.

  “We've got to get out of here. Is there another way out?” Jessica asked Joe.

  “There's a back door near the restrooms,” Joe said, getting back to his feet.

  “Move!” Jessica yelled.

  The three of us ran for the back exit as the infected man struggled to keep up with us. The door broke down and the zombies started to flood the store.

  “What about that guy?” Joe asked looking back as we neared the exit.

  “We can't do anything. He's infected, if we take him with us we'll be putting ourselves in danger. Go!” said Jessica.

  VII.

  I was out in front, followed by Jessica and then Joe. I got to the door and looked back to see Joe starting to go the other direction. Jessica grabbed him as he was about to pass her.

  “What the hell are you doing?” she yelled.

  “The guy fell down, he needs help,” Joe replied as he squirmed out of Jessica's hold.

  “Help me,” said the man sadly.

  Jessica ran after Joe. I just stood at the door like an idiot watching it all happen. Everything seemed to have slowed down. Jessica caught up to Joe as he got to where the man was. She grabbed Joe by the collar and yanked him backwards.

  “Are you nuts? Go!” she said as she pushed Joe towards my direction. Jessica turned to run but the man grabbed her on her right ankle.

  “Let me go you idiot!” she shouted.

  “Help me,” said the man.

  I ran to help her as the man started to get to his feet while holding on to Jessica. She started hitting him to get him off her.

  “Take me with you or I will bite you,” he said.

  “If you bite me, I swear to you that you will be begging me to throw you back to the zombies. You hear me? I give you unspeakable hell!” Jessica said emphatically.

  The man, not caring, grabbed Jessica's forearm and took a bite. I got there at the same time he bit down on Jessica's arm and punched him in the face. He stumbled backwards before falling on his ass.

  VIII.

  “Hey Jessica, we've got to move,” I said.

  Jessica was in shock. She couldn't believe she was just bitten. I grabbed her by the arm and started running the other way.

  “Come on,” I urged.

  “Let me go! Someone is about to die a horrible death.”

  “We have no time for this. We have to go, now!” I said.

  Jessica wouldn't have any of it. She was insistent on getting her hands on the guy. The guy was on the floor with blood coming out of his nose. Jessica was like a bear wanting to tear into her prey. I had trouble holding her back.

  Seeing no other way to get Jessica to forget about hurting the guy that just bit her and turning her attention to surviving, I picked her up and ran as the zombie reached the spot we were standing. I looked back as the zombies swarmed the guy as he fought back but with no avail. Within seconds his screams were drowned out. I was still carrying Jessica on my shoulders as we approached Joe. He led us to the back door and we exited the building.

  IX.

  Joe quickly closed the door as soon as we cleared it and key-locked it. Jessica started hitting me and pried herself from my shoulders. She ran to the door and pushed Joe aside.

  “Open it!” she said, pounding and pulling on the door. “Give me the keys, Joe. Now!”

  Joe stared at her.

  “What did you call me?” he asked.

  “Joe. Isn't that your name?”

  “Yeah, it is. But this is the first time you've referred to me as such. You usually call me...”

  “Nerd!” she finished his sentence. “Fine, I'll go back to calling you nerd. Happy?”

  “No.”

  “Whatever,” said Jessica. “Open the door, that idiot will pay for biting me.”

  “He's dead, Jessica. The zombies got him,” I said.

  “I don't care. Open the door, Joe.”

  She was ferociously pacing back and forth.

  “Let me see your arm,” I told her.

  “Why, you've never seen an arm before?”

  “You know,” I said. “When someone is concern and is trying to help, a normal person will let them and be thankful for it.”

  She relented and held out her forearm for me to look at.

  “It doesn’t look that bad. In fact, it looks like the bite didn’t get to the flesh.”

  “Oh really? Well I’m sorry, doctor. It felt like he bit into the flesh,” she deadpanned.

  “No, it didn’t,” I said.

  “Plus, he wasn’t a zombie so even if he had bit into the flesh it might not have been enough to infect you,” Joe added.

  “Well, oh gee, Thanks. I do feel much better,” said Jessica. “By the way where were you, you jackass?! You left me to fend off that crazy bastard. What were you doing?” she said giving me the stink-eye.

  “I saved you in case you forgot,” I said sternly. “For the second time.”

  “Oh really? It took you that long to come help me? You were standing like ten feet away. You froze like a bitch,” said Jessica.

  “Hey!” I exclaimed.

  “And what about you, nerd herd? What’s your deal? Do you have a death wish?” Jessica questioned.

  “I was trying to help him,” Joe explained.

  “Oh, let’s help a soon to be zombie guy,” Jessica mocked. “How were you going to help him? Do have some type of antidote or something, brainiac?”

  “No. but we could’ve taken him with us to see my dad. Maybe he knows or has an antidote.”

  “What are you so upset about?” I asked. “You’re fine.”

  “I better be because if I’m not, no one will be fine either. No one!”

  The zombies started to make their way around the building towards our direction.

  “We need to move, come on,” I urged the other two.

  We ran down the streets and made a left at the next block. As we ran down the sidewalk, we heard a car engine. We stopped and approached a parked car.

  “Hey, it’s unlocked,” Joe noticed.

  Joe grabbed the handle and climbed into the back seat.

  “Come on,” he said.

  Jessica ran around to the passenger side and got in. I opened the driver door and climbed behind the wheel. Just as I was about to put the car in drive I saw a figure at my window at the corner of my eye. I turned my head to stare into a two barrel shotgun.

  “Ain’t she a beaut?” asked the guy holding the shotgun. “She packs quite a punch too. Wanna see?”

  “Not particularly, no.”

  “In that case,” he cocked the gun. “D’ya mind steppin’ out of my vehicle, please?”

  “Well you did ask nicely. It would be rude of me not to oblige,” I said slowly getting out of the vehicle and putting my hands in the air, like I just didn’t care.

  The guy was standing at about 6’2” 200 lbs with a mohawk wearing a plaid shirt and jeans.

  “Boy, stealin’ other people’s cars is the sort of stuff that’ll get a few holes put in ya,” he said with the shotgun still pointed at my face.

  “I’m twenty-two.”

  “So?” asked the man.

  “So, I’m not a boy.”

  “I don’t give a rat’s vagina how old ya are. Boy.”

  “Technically, I’m a man not a boy,” I said persistently.

  “And technically I could shoot ya right now so shut ya trap. Hey, thing one and thing two. Get ya thievin’ asses out my car.”

  Jessica and Joe got out of the car.

  “Sorry sir, we didn’t know the car’s owner was still around,” Joe apologized.

  “Stop apologizing, you sound like a bitch,” Jessica said quietly to Joe as they made their way to where I was.

  “What’s your problem?” Joe asked.

  “My problem,” Jessica replied as she started to heat up. “Is that some infected douche-bag bi
t me because you’re a complete idiot.”

  “Are you still on about that?”

  “Yeah! I’m still on about that, Joe. And I will be on that for as long as I want to.”

  “Hey, shut ya yaps!” said the shotgun man.

  “You shut your yap you mohawk freak!” Jessica fired back. “Can’t you see we’re having a discussion?”

  “It’s more like your bashing me than us having a conversation,” Joe corrected.

  “Shut your face before I break it!”

  That shut Joe up.

  “So, I guess we’ll just be on our way,” I said to the guy with the shotgun.

  “You ain’t goin’ nowhere, boy.”

  “I’m not a boy,” I said.

  “You’re a boy, Sam,” Jessica said.

  “Shut up!” I told her.

  “Come say it to my face!” she challenged.

  I did not take her challenge.

  “Hey!” said the man.

  “Don’t ‘Hey!’ me, freak. What’s with the gun? Are you going to shoot us, huh?”

  “Maybe,” he answered.

  “Oh yeah,” Jessica approached the man. “Give me the gun.”

  “Stay back or I’mma shot ya,” warned mohawk man

  Jessica walked up to him and tried to pry the gun from the guy but he held on. Jessica tried as she could to wrestle the gun from mohawk man with no luck. Finally getting tired of the struggle, she elbowed him in the stomach, stuck her leg out, pulled him towards her and hip tossed mohawk man to the ground.

  “Whoa, what the hell was that!” I asked, impressed.

  “It’s a judo throw num-nuts. Now grab the gun,” she said.

  I retrieved the gun that had scattered three feet from the duo when mohawk man was tossed. I looked over and saw Jessica had mohawk man in some sort of arm submission. Mohawk man started screaming for Jessica to let him go.

  “Are you crazy?” cried mohawk man. “Ya gonna break my arm.”

  “That’s the idea,” said Jessica.

  “I think it’s a bad idea,” mohawk man answered back.

  “So was saying you were going to shoot us.”

  “I said maybe, maybe. I didn’t say I was actually gonna do it.”

  Jessica let the mohawk man go and got to her feet. Mohawk man was writhing on the ground holding his right arm.

  “Oh stop being a bitch and get up,” said Jessica.

  “You tried to break my arm,” Mohawk man complained.

  “If I was trying to break your arm, it would be broken already. Now get up.”

  She turned and approached me.

  “Give me the gun,” she demanded.

  “Why?” I asked suspiciously.

  “So I can shoot you for not giving me the gun.”

  “Are you joking or not because I can’t tell,” I said.

  “Sam, now!” she commanded.

  I stared her down as she held out her hand for the gun. I did not budge. I was not going to be punk’d be some girl. She faked like she was going to hit and I jumped back.

  “Give me,”she said.

  I gave up the gun.

  “I know that you’re not the most pleasant person to be around, at least according to my experience, but you’ve taken it to a higher level lately,” I pointed out.

  “Well when you been bitten by an infect asshole and have to deal with an ass, a nerd, and a mohawk freak, you’d act a little crazy too.”

  “I think she insulted us,” said mohawk man.

  “Yeah,” replied Joe.

  “Hey,” I said. “Why didn’t you do the same thing you did to mohawk man to that infect guy who bit you?”

  “The name’s Bret,” said Bret, formerly known as mohawk man or in Jessica’s case, mohawk freak.

  “You want to know why I didn’t do the same thing to the infected asshole who bit me? Shut up, that’s why?” she answered.

  “I think fear froze her,” Joe added.

  “Yeah, fear can paralyze a man… or woman,” said Bret.

  “Sure, why don’t we have a discussion and try to figure out why I didn’t do the same to the infected man as I did to freaky-hair here.”

  “OK,” said Bret. “We can sit on my deck there.”

  “It’s very nice,” Joe observed.

  “Yeah, it also has a retractable sunroof,” Bret said proudly.

  “Shut up and get in the car. Sam, you’re driving. Bret, you’re in the passenger seat and Joe, you’re sitting behind the driver.”

  “Why?” asked Joe.

  “Because I have a shotgun, Joe. Because I have a shotgun.”

  “Where are we goin’? asked Bret.

  “We are going to see Joe’s dad.”

  X.

  I put the car in drive and we headed down the road.

  “Where to, Joe?” I asked.

  “Keep going until we get to Pensecola RD and go right. Then just drive all the way to the lab at the compound.”

  I looked at the clock on the car and it read 9:20 AM. The roads were pretty deserted as far as I could tell.

  “So who’s everybody?” asked Bret.

  “I’m Sam,” I answered.

  “How ya doin’, Sam? What do you do?”

  “I’m fine, Bret. I’m an assistant manager, or was, at Congar Foods down by Harlow Street. Been working there three years now. How about you?”

  “Mechanic for nine years. That Mustang that was in my driveway is my project. Almost done with it. Damn world has to end just when I’m ‘bout done with it. What about you, li’l man?” he said, referring to Joe.

  “I’m a sophomore at Lincoln High. I also work down at Phil’s Gas station for the last four months. My dad works at the lab we’re going to. He said this whole thing was an experiment gone wrong.”

  “Damn military. Leave it to them to fuck shit up.” Bret commented. “What about you, miss lady.”

  “Don’t call me that,” said Jessica.

  “OK,” Bret replied. “What about you? Who are ya and what do you do?”

  “I’m Jessica and that’s all you need to know.”

  “Alrighty then,” said Bret.

  As we approached Pensecola RD I slowed down at the light and made a right turn.

  I fiddled with the radio trying to find a station but all I was getting was static on the AM side so I switch to FM. Nothing there as well. So we had no news of what was happening or how worse or better things were getting. Hopefully Joe’s dad has some answers.

  We were traveling on a two land road as we were leaving the city behind. The landscape was pretty bare except for bushes and grass alongside the road. Up ahead we were nearing a forest when the car started slowing down.

  “What are you doing?” asked Jessica.

  “Nothing,” I answered.

  “Why are you slowing down?”

  “I’m not, the car is.”

  Bret glanced over. “We’re outta fuel.”

  “Are you kidding me? What the hell! This day just keeps getting crappier and crappier.” said Jessica.

  “The lab is just past the forest,” said Joe. “It’ll take us maybe an hour and a half, two tops.”

  “What kind of mechanic are you,” Jessica questioned Bret.

  “A very good one,” he replied.

  “Oh really?”

  “Yeah, this isn’t a mechanical issue. Is it? No. So don’t knock my mechanical skills, alright?”

  “Right, it’s you common sense skills we should be looking at,” Jessica fired back.

  “Hey listen here…”

  “Guys!” I jumped in. “It won’t solve anything so drop it. We have to walk the rest of the way. An hour and a half is nothing. Come on,” I said as I got out of the car. “We’ve got to move, the sun isn’t overhead yet so it won’t be so bad.”

  “So we’re just going to leave the car here?” asked Joe.

  “No,” said Jessica. “There are four of us. We’re each going to grab a side, pick up the car, and carry it with us for half an ho
ur up to the lab. Come on Joe, grab a side.”

  “You’re mean, you know that?”

  XI.

  We started hiking the rest of the way to the lab. As we near the forest it appeared to be about two football-sized fields. It was lush with greenery and dense with plenty of trees.

  We stayed on the middle of the road to minimize any chances of being surprised by an animal or zombie that might be disguised within the forest. We were walking two by two, Bret and I in front with Joe and Jessica trailing us.

  The road was well deserted. We haven’t seen a car or anyone since we left the confines of the city. We could hear the birds chirping about as we delve further. All of a sudden we heard a low growl.

  “Who’s hungry?” I asked looking back.

  “I am,” said Joe. “But that wasn’t my stomach making noise.”

  I looked at Jessica and she stared back at me.

  “That’s no grumblin’ stomach, that’s an animal,” Bret said as he slowed his walk surveying the surrounding.

  “What’s up Bret?” I asked.

  “Shush! Somethin’ is out here.”

  We heard it again, this time louder.

  ROAWR! It was near us. We turned to the right side of the forest while slowly backing away anticipating something jumping out at us. We waited and waited. The bushes were rustling. We stood in abject fear. Out of the bushes jumped a bear.

  As soon as we saw it we made like headless chickens and ran around wildly. We scattered so that the bear could not bear down on us at once. Joe decided, or maybe he just lost his mind, to run into the forest on the other side of the road instead of staying on the road where we can see everything.

  The bear took after him.

  “Joe,” I called. “What are you doing? Come back!” I ran after them. I found Joe halfway up a tree with the bear at the base of the tree trying to convince Joe to come down.

  “Hey! Over here!” I jumped up and down and threw things at the bear to distract him. “Come get me!” I picked up a rock and threw it. I nailed the bear at the back of the head. That got its attention.